When Girls Go Wild!
At this very moment, my roommate Steph is running around the office with her hands up in the air bouncing around and singing, "I won a Tivo!" Sometimes, you really wish you had a portable video recorder. :)
posted by Jeff Gatlin 9/26/2000 9:46:40 AM
Mid Morning Update!
For breakfast today, Fruit Pizza!
For Laughs, The Picard Rap!
posted by Jeff Gatlin 9/25/2000 9:25:53 AM
Rainy Mondays
It is a little known fact ( or was till I posted it here) that I love rain. Rain cheers me up. I can go into the philosphical to explain some of it but I prefer this reason: When it is raining, thousands of people are miserable. They look at it as a rotten day. Misery, my friends, loves company. Something about all those people feeling miserable about something as simple and natural as rain cheers me up. Muhahaha, I must be evil, just a little bit!
Spent almost all my time cleaning my apartment. (Insert back-aching wail) It is still no where near done. But my room, my closet are cleared and ready for coin pickup and sweeping. The porch closet is cleared, sweeped and free of the bagillion spider carcasses (there were more dead than alive in there). Next is the living room. (Insert more painful yodeling-like wail).
Woke up this morning to find a nifty news gadget in my mail. Thus I have found something cool for my rightbar. Since I am a web news junkie (I could list all my sites, but there are far too many) I think it fits quite well. Now I just gotta get all my web journal link happiness figured out and added then this puppy will be smokin!
5 days left to clean apartment deadline.
posted by Jeff Gatlin 9/25/2000 7:44:38 AM
Weekend Blues
It's Friday afternoon and the weekend is almost upon us. Damn. Most of you are saying uh by now. But most of you won't be spending the entire weekend cleaning up your old apartment. There is so much trash in there its pitiful. I wail just thinking about it.
I have also been ripped to shreds by Master of Orion II many times this week. The last game was so sad... by the time every other race had 8 or 9 planets, I still just had one. I should have thrown in the towel right there at the start but I figured what the heck. Sure enough, I didn't feel like bowing down to some fool snooty race and they wailed upon me. Mumble.
Fortunately, a bright spot as I'll get to take a break from the trashbin to check out's Mike place. That should keep the weekend from being a total nightmare. Of course, I still have to find the place! (Insert dramatic music hit here)
El Hefe
posted by Jeff Gatlin 9/22/2000 4:04:22 PM
Where to begin...
Moving Day Eve
Waited at the empty house for deliveries and installs. The first showed up minus a fridge. Fiasco worked out in out favor, see Steph's accounting. Called to see when gas guys were showing up. Response: Computers down... uh I don't think anyone is coming out today. So I leave for lunch and they show up while I'm gone and turn it off cause I'm not there. Thus no hot water for several days.
The Move
It began in the afternoon about 2:30pm. It ended around 5am that night. The worst part being that we were no where near finished. We made two full rented truckload trips grabbing all the stuff that absolutely could not be moved without said truck. Somehow, when you move furniture, it causes a disturbance in the force. It feels as if a thousands of people suddenly cried out and were suddenly smothered by enormous piles of dust and trash. Where does it come from? Why does it do the things it does?
The Damage
Scratch one fairly nice 27inch TV, literally. The set fell off the dolly when we hit a bump and went screen first into the concrete. I remember at that point thinking about when I was in the Uhaul place and seeing the bubble wrap for sale and saying, $20 bucks for bubble wrap? What a rip off! Hmm...
The Grind
After several hours, it turns out that muscles have this thing called pain that they inflict upon their owners after extended use. Even climbing in and out of the cars became difficult.
The Goober
So around 3am, we hit the only decent all night diner. We were expecting to hear from our friend Brett who was passing thru town and optionally crashing at our place. He didn't call anytime that day so we were pretty much giving up on him. Then this odd looking fellow enters the diner and walks by. I had to ask the others if that was him. It was so he and his friend joined us while we pretty much moaned and scarfed up food.
The Bed
Now we come to a happier part. It's stupid late and my bed is just as I remember it, aside from being in a new place. I drop and let the snoring of my friends, who fell asleep much faster than I, drone me off to sleep. Ah sleep...
The Aches
It's pretty easy to be lazy when your muscles complain when you try to not be lazy.
The Truth
Unfortunately, an abundance of lovely tall green trees have but a single drawback. They block satellite signals.
The Sacrifice
Thus, I must sacrifice the noble Iron Chef and return my dish. I must now rely on the evil 'so-called' digital cable which for some idiot reason cannot deliver Food Network to my area, because ya know no one eats in my area.
The Dailies
Now we come to the present, where we now have a fridge and hot water and tv (obscured by scratches) and daily trips to the apartment to collect more junk than I can possibly remember ever gathering in my life. That's all.
PS
Special thanks to Russ, our favorite (and only) volunteer mover for the dreaded day known as ... Bloody Saturday!! Wail!!!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by Jeff Gatlin 9/19/2000 3:50:00 PM
Blah blah blah packing blah blah
Ok, whose idea was packing anyway? It's a hassle? What was the inventor of packing thinking? I am willing to bet that if packing had never been invented, we would have more advanced moving technology. Imagine giant suction tubes that suck all your belongings out of your house and pull them right into a truck. Imagine anti-gravity streams that allow your belongings to float along in a weightless river column with little effort. Imagine reality benders that mold your current place of residence into an entirely new and better home no moving required! Damn that packing guy! Damn him!
In less than an hour, I have managed to take all the stuff that was already in my room and multiply the amount of space it takes up by 4. What the... how is this possible! Have I discovered the true secret of the atom? If I can learn to do this trick with my can of change, I shall soon rule the... well... I'll be able to get an extra sandwich or two a month maybe.
In answer to Gryph's question, "Would you rather be hated for what you are or ... uh..." doesn't matter, the first choice is the one! It wins on several levels.
First off... laziness. No matter what I do or do not do, I get to be hated for it. How's that for easy? Some people have to go to great lengths and become wealthy billionaires before becoming hated. Now for those of you who remember the rest of the question and want to point out that you can be equally lazy for the that second half, let me point out that by choosing the first half of the question without even bothering to consider the 2nd half then I am doing less work thus being more lazy. Noodge!
Second level... fame. Take the Batman films for instance. The hated evil bad guys are much more popular than Batman, the true hero and lead character of the film. In some cases, the bad guys got bigger paychecks. Heck, look at Andy Kaufman. People hated that guy yet most of his peers consider him a genius. He knew people hated him and he loved it!
Third (and final) level... greatness. What a great thing I must be for people to so despise me! Ah ego in all its glory!Gotta get back to the room. If I don't start now I'll never get my bed unburied before I pass out.
posted by Jeff Gatlin 9/12/2000 10:56:32 PM
Especial Cuisine
Had dinner at a place called The Melting Pot last night. This was my first experience at a fondue place. Also my first experience with cook it yerself dining. Fondue? They bring out plates of nifty food which you spear and dip into some fondue which is fancy cheese dip. All pretty damn good. Cook it yerself? The main course is brought out raw (but looking fabulous) on the plate. You spear a chunk, dip it into boiling broth and cook it there till its done. Then dip in any number of sauces and chow down. Desert is along similar lines, they bring out melted chocolate goo and plates of fruit and cake which you spear an dip. Desipt my homeboy explanation, the food was top notch and the experience supreme. Unfortunately, due to the cooking on the table, it was very warm. But not unbearable. The place was awfully pricey though. I expect I'll be able to return on my own in about 5 years.
Cleaning and more cleaning. Packing and cleaning. Blah. On the other hand, I've gotten my ass kicked in Master of Orion II about 6 times now. Fun fun fun.
Jeff
posted by Jeff Gatlin 9/9/2000 5:17:09 PM
Hopeless Geek
Last night, I could have dreamt of many things. I could have dreamt of my future and what I will be. I could have dreamt of the past and relived good times. I could have dreamt of the woman of my dreams living life in splender while sipping cold fruity drinks and enjoying central air while basking in our own wonder.
But no, I dream of installing goofy free internet software. Great. Just Great.
posted by Jeff Gatlin 9/8/2000 9:35:34 AM
Super Hero Update
It seems I am more powerful than I thought. According to Emode my secret super power is Time Travel. They say, "Holy hand of time! Your inner superpower is TIME TRAVEL. If you haven't yet taken a trip into the fourth dimension, you should really consider it. You've got the knack, so use it."
posted by Jeff Gatlin 9/5/2000 12:28:27 PM
The Mexican Experience
After reading Susan's account of her recent adventure in Mexico, I was thrown deep into Memory Lane. I've had some of my best adventures occur in Mexico. Thus to get out of Memory Lane I must relate one of my favorite happenings.
This incident occurred during my 2nd scuba diving trip to Mexico, on the fine island of Cozumel. By this time, I have visited Mexico several times and am quite comfortable with the way of things in a world where you are just a tourist who can barely speak. It is the end of our week in the tropical paradise and time to go home. We (being my friends Fred, Pat, Nancy and myself) get up and begin to packup for the trip to the airport. Pat and Nancy decide they are going to stay a few extra days. So it's just Fred and I making the trip home. This is where the fun begins.
When you visit Cozumel Mexico, you are required to have a birth certificate. Once shown you are given a tourist card (I forget the official name of it, though that may be it!) that gives you permission to be a tourist for up to 4 weeks. You need this to get out of the country. This is what I discovered to be missing. The plane leaves in 2 hours. I search and search and cannot find it. The plane leaves in 1 1/2 hours. Well, I guess I can just show them my birth certificate and explain how I lost my tourist card right? I'll just get it... um... I was keeping my birth certificate with my tourist card. Crap... CRAP!
I continue to search for my missing papers. The plane leaves in one hour. I call the hotel, they haven't seen it. I call our tour guide, he hasn't seen it. He says you might be able to get new papers at the department of immigration tomorrow but they are closed today. Mumble. We turn the place upside down, it doesn't fall out. The plane leaves in 45 minutes. We realize that I'm not leaving. Fred grabs a cab to the airport. I continue to look in all the places I already know where it isn't. I am in a semi-calm panic. I'm am certain that someone must have stolen my papers since I could nto have just up and lost them. All the options and possibilities are spinning through my head. I've got pretty much no cash left, so staying is going to be a burden. The plane leaves in 30 minutes.
Snap decision, I decide I am going to the airport and try to leave to see what happens. I say my farewells and hop a cab. The ride is fast but gruelingly slow to me. I get to the airport, dragging my two heavy bags along with me. The plane leaves in 10 minutes. I enter the main lobby and notice a long line to the check in point, about 50 people. No sign of Fred as our plane has probably already boarded. I see men in uniforms checking papers. Great. I decide to use my panicked American brashness to walk right up to the front of the line and get the attention of the clerk. I proclaim that I have lost my tourist card and birth certificate and my plane is leaving right now. What can I do? I try to emit a physical presence that says, "I am American and should be allowed to leave." She tells me I need to talk to someone else. She flags down a police looking person and says to follow him. My plane leaves in 5 minutes.
I follow the official who sports sidearm to the other side of the airport. It's not that big of an airport but I'm lugging baggage and getting into a nice wide-eyed panic, though quite a calm one. We head into a small corner office out of sight of the rest of the area. I am asked to sit and another officer comes in and sits down at a small desk. I explain that I have lost my tourist card and birth certificate. I do not explain my theories of possible theft because I don't want to sound angry. I want to sound desperate and pitiful but in such a nice way that people want to help me. He frowns and shakes his head. You will have to go to the immigration office, but it is closed today (Sunday). I look small. I say my plane is leaving is there anything that I can do? He frowns again and considers. He considers quietly for some time. It feels like hours. Then he speaks, quite clearly, saying, "Tip me 10 dollars." I blink. But I do not hesitate. I pull out my wallet, I have only pesos. Here is 32000 pesos, all I have (approx. 10 or 11 bucks at the time). He takes the pesos with the same frown, opens up his desk drawer and pulls out a tourist card and plops it in front of me. "Fill this out and sign it." I do so. "You should go now, your plane is leaving." I thank him grab my bags and start walking back across the airport. I pass the original guard that escorted me back there. He has a look that seems to say, "Don't run in the hall". I walk very fast. Up to the metal detectors, through them quickly handing my new tourist card for inspection. I am waves through as they tell me my plane is leaving.
I walk outside to my plane and there it is shining in all it's glory, the last of its passengers walking up the portable ramp. In fact, the last passenger is my friend Fred. I run now to the ramp and bolt up the stairs and say hi. He looks surprised but pleased. We get on the plane and I am blessed with having no one sitting in my row so I have three seats to myself. I sit down and sweat for about an hour, but fortunately its a sweat of relief (if there is such a thing).
I don't even remember if I had problems at customs once I was back in Texas. Didn't care really, in the good ol USA, I had resources and the home field advantage. :)
posted by Jeff Gatlin 9/4/2000 11:08:35 PM
Personality to Spare
I took that personality test that everyone is taking a few days ago. Nothing in it mentioned why I was too lazy to post about it till now. :) Looks like I came out an Artiste. That's right, Gryph, I was right under your nose the whole time. ;) If yer still interested, I like pilsners, reds or any German beer, authentic Mexican Food, and tasers... lots of high-powered tasers to fight off angry Bears. 8)
For some odd reason, my perfect woman is a Sorority Sister. I'm still trying to figure that one out. I don't recall any preference for cheerleader questions (which would have been affirmative) or favoring women who carry a nice stack of books questions. I am guessing it was the beer question. I don't get it, just cause I like beer doesn't mean I'm gonna require beer consumption from my lady. Goofy test.
I take those tests just for fun, and kinda smile when they work out in my favor. But I don't give them too much credit because I consider the test tainted. Once I've had a friend take one and they mention what their results were, then I have that in my head when I'm taking the test. In fact when I was taking the Emode tests (I forget the exact links), I was looking at the questions, trying to answer truthfully, but seriously considering weighting my answers to have some fun with my friends. I could have easily guided my responses to get a Hippie Chick or to become any of the types I heard previously. In fact, I could see the plan formulating in my head. Get the responses I wanted. Post casually about them. Then start some harmless email conversations ("Hi, How's the heat in Austin?") with the occasional flirt ("Couldn't be that bad with you being down there.") the laugh over coincidence ("So, we're a perfect match, Ha ha!") and the half joking confession ("Well ya know I always was attracted to you... But you know...") and leaving everything open ended, no conclusions, nothing too direct. Ah the master plan to life and love.
Of course, then I decided to post it all on the web, letting the truth send my plan spiraling down into failure...
Or perhaps not. :)
posted by Jeff Gatlin 9/2/2000 1:03:40 AM