The Games We Play

Lately, tension has been creeping into my hands, enough to cause some good ol pain and discomfort. Where is it coming from? Relax, nothing bad. I'm just playing too many intense strategy games. I've been enjoying Sacrifice, which is a gem of a game both in looks and play. It's got everything a strategy game usually has for me: Cool stuff, lots of stuff, neat looking maps, fun conflicts, great stories, fast action and totally completely frustrating overly hard levels that piss me off so much I want to do major damage to my computer monitor... well they are that haqrd until I calm down and figure out the proper strategy to win it. But in the meantime I've worked up alot of tension and it has its effects.

So, to give myself a break, I picked up a copy of Asheron's Call. I was in the beta of this game and didn't play it much because I didn't like the way it looked. Just didn't like the way they did their trees. Also, there's this rat lair in an orchard that looks like a purple swirly cloud. What? Ridiculous. So since I never could get past that initial impression, I never gave the game a proper chance. Thus now being bored with other games and too tense to play my newest ones, I return to give it a chance.

Turns out there's a reason for purple swirlies, go figure. I've started up a lifemage on a server called Leafcull (don't know the history well enough to know the significance of the name) and have been enjoying the last few days of exploration and discovery. Much less tension and no major frustrations. The areas I have been to have been mostly deserted. I've not yet found the places where the 2000 or so players are hanging out. I've seen maybe 5 or 6 people so far, one very helpful. He set me up with some starter cash, told me how a few things work and provided good advice... and I'm not even playing a female character! ;)

So now I continue to play and discover the good and the bad (from a design point, I'd say they did a few things very well, but drop the ball occasionally. But not to the point of frustration like that E game.) in relative calm. My hands feeel better already. --Jeffg
posted by Jeff Gatlin at 1/19/2001 11:42:00 AM

Emotions and the Path

What is it that drives us to make the decisions that form the paths we take? I think of phrases such as "I want to do that" or "That sounds interesting" or "I can't imagine anything more horrible" or "I'm not putting my lips on that". Thoughts and feelings and emotions that guide our lives. But which emotions rule over the paths we choose and how do you feel about it when you realize what drive you the most?

I think back to when I first got interested in music. I remember in elementary school, the band from the junior high came to our school and performed. It was part of a recruiting process to interest kids in band. It worked on me, I saw them and heard them. I remembered seeing Herb Alpert on TV and thought to myself "I like that. It looks like fun." Thus a joyful and happy emotion led me through the next 20 years of my life as I explored the musical world.

In high school, I was good student. Didn't have much trouble with school work and even had opportunities to learn more, with advanced classes etc... But I hated the idea of choosing to do hard work. It seemed ridiculous to me. Plus I hated certain teachers in those subjects for whatever reasons (I've long forgotten). Thus, I didn't take the advanced classes and 20 years later I find I am missing out on some knowledge(in this case math and geometry) that I wish I had a better handle on. I allowed a hateful emotion choose my path and came out lacking.

So, with this in mind, I try to look at the decisions I make today. What is it that guides my decisions? Am I making choices based on joy, happiness, curiosity and interest, or on hate, dislike, avoidance and disinterest? Where will I be in the future when I've made my choices? Am I allowing ill emotions rob me of what I could achieve?

These are my thoughts of late. --Jeff

posted by Jeff Gatlin at 1/11/2001 10:47:00 AM